Perhaps you've been there. A dementia patient is cradling a doll in her arms. You wonder: Should I mention the doll, and what exactly should I say? Should I refer to the object as "your doll" or "your baby"? And is "doll therapy" a helpful practice or a condescending way to treat an elder?
I've found myself asking these questions, and a quick internet search assured me that I am definitely not the only one.
Last fall, NPR aired a story that examined the issue. .npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/10/03/495655678/doll-therapy-may-help-calm-people-with-dementia-but-it-has-critics
According to that story, studies have revealed some interesting findings. In some patients, doll therapy has meant a reduction in the need for certain medications. Also, engaging with a doll has sometimes resulted in more positive engagement with others: less agitation and improved relationships with caregivers. When doll therapy brings those benefits, family members often respond favorably. They tend to believe that it enhances their loved one's well being.
But some questions remain: Can giving an already vulnerable patient "a toy" be a sign of disrespect? Is it condescending to allow an adult to treat an object as if it is real?
As I consider those questions, I'm reminded of adults I know who very much like their favorite board games. Or card games. Or watching football. Games, in a way, mimic competition in the "real world" and we use them to teach children helpful skills. But truly, some of the healthiest adults I know still play games. Games can be a pleasant distraction from every day stress, they can still teach us things and they can be a form of relaxation that leaves us refreshed and more able to deal with "reality".
When my daughter was younger and played with baby dolls (and more frequently, stuffed animals), I never said to her, "You know, that's kind of silly. Since you can't care for a real baby (or animal), I think you should leave that alone." I also didn't debate her over whether her toy was "real". It didn't matter. It was all about letting her experience the joy of nurturing something beyond herself.
I do realize that allowing kids to play with dolls might seem more acceptable in that it is considered preparation for future care giving. But maybe allowing an adult to have a doll can be considered an acknowledgement of past care giving. A reflective way to channel still real emotions that are beautiful and have meant so much through the years.
Doll therapy still may not sit well with everyone. The greatest danger, however, may lie not with the therapy itself, but in how others might perceive the patient and how we might respond. But a negative response wouldn't be a bad reflection on doll therapy. That would be a bad reflection on us.
It is possible that someday, I may be that patient living with dementia. I believe today that I would be fine with someone giving me a doll, if that doll helped manage my stress, reduced my need for medication or enabled me to relate to others more happily.
I think I've found (through the transcript noted above) the answer to my initial question. Next time I meet a patient cradling a doll, I plan to say, "That little one is beautiful! And I think that you're beautiful, too." That's a thought that we can all embrace.
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